I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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