It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
