i always forget guys have bellybuttons
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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