Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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