Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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