Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There r osticjed everywhere
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
