yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
