My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
