I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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