it was like his penis was on wheels.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
