I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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