just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
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