bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
