I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.