I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy