He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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