what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
