he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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