Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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