im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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