I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Found the puke drawer
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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