Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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