i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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