you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
