when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
