I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize