took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
