I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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