i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
