Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
