Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf