all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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