Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
