i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
