Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize