Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
