You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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