Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
