I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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