their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
