Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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