I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
