break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
