i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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