My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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