at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
