do herpes really smell.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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