Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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