remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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