just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
