recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
