why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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