If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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