I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
