We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
