Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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