I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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